i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
