Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
