How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
