Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
