1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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