I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
