Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
