This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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