Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
only you would photoshop your dick
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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