Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
