I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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