One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
