i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
