In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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