I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
