Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
