I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
