It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
