I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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