Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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