I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
