You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
birth control should be required to get into college
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Randomize
