I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
