This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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