Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
