is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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