listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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