theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
