his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
