dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
ttyl tear gas
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
