Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
