No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
