her vagine was all disorganized.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize