I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
