no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
