Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
