I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
