sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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