his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
