Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
