I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
