i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Alive.
So much puke
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
