Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
