I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
worst night to have a conscience
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
