The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
