According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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