He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
