PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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