life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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