its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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